please don't read this

someone call the boys in white, we got a keeper here

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Cry Havoc part II

It's been too long, I lost my train of thought and I forgot where I was going with this. Basically, I just wanted to say that there's so much effort put into rescuing each individual child from these dangerous situations (mostly in SE Asia, I think) and that's all well and good but I never ever hear about if anyone's trying to find a cure for all this.

More and more kids are ending up in vulnerable situations and it is impossible to save all of them and sadly, I think it’s impossible to save most of them. So what about focusing on the pedophiles themselves? Where do they come from? How do they come to be? Are they born like this or are they a product of a cruel world? Are they victims of pedophiles themselves just reversing roles making sure someone else like them suffers as they have suffered?

One day kids won’t be in danger. Someway, somehow, science+technology will save the day as usual and that’s where more efforts should be put into. No more pedophiles. No more victims. I think.

Without dark, can there be light? Is there good with no evil? Someone once said “maybe we’re all just one big soul that everyone’s a part of. Good and evil…they’re just different features of the same face.”

8 Comments:

  • At 9:49 AM, Blogger Desiderius1979 said…

    All too often the do-gooders of the world are reduced to using band-aid solutions, and cannot tackle the source due to the imbalance that exists between problems & resources. Salvation becomes a lottery.

    I don't think science and technology can really be effective in resolving this issue because of its socio/psycho nature. I mean how could science and technology really contribute...by providing some sort of neurological scanners that detect offenders before they strike, or a magical pill that makes bad urges go away?!?...both band-aid solutions by the way. No, unfortunately sci&tech are very limited in their ability to effectively deal with this issue the key to which starts at the grassroots level...at the community, family and individual scale.

     
  • At 2:10 PM, Blogger ds said…

    I'm sure there are genetic markers that predispose people towards this illness. And if these markers can be identified, then these people can be treated early for prevention. And one day we'll be able to manipulate DNA to eliminate these genes altogether.
    And there's more that science+technology can do too, but I'm too lazy to go on.

    PS for some reason, I hate the term 'grassroots'.

     
  • At 3:52 PM, Blogger Desiderius1979 said…

    yes, my skin crawled as I wrote it down too...but I thought it'd grow on me if I used it just once.

    grassroots...I think it's one of those "made-up buzzwords that stupid people use to sound important"...don't judge me...admission of guilt should warrant a lighter sentence, plus I though buzzwords were cool on this site. hehe

    Oh boy, that comment you made about identifying genes and pre-disposition...laden with ethical issues...have you been reading that Ross Perot pamphlet again?

    Ah, the simplsons, where would my vocabulary be without thee?

     
  • At 3:55 PM, Blogger Desiderius1979 said…

    I mean, Simpsons...D'oh!

     
  • At 4:49 PM, Blogger Desiderius1979 said…

    Last night I saw another talk-show on CNN about this issue...they had a bait & sting operation, confrontations, victim interviews, you name it...may have been the same as the one you mentioned, although more likely a cheap imitation. The confrontations were odd, and the sole victim interviewed was a now 18 y/o girl who didn't act/sound like you'd expect a victim to sound. They kept referring to her as being a 12 y/o victim, but in her interview she said she was 15 before she started going to chatrooms and meeting men. By 16, she had her first sexual encounter with an online predator, except that she knew he was 30+, and wanted to meet him and have sex with him...she repeated this with other men. Her whole story totally sounded like a promiscuous teen bragging about how many men she was able to attract online and sleep with. The whole show was just weird, and kinda insulting to the serious issue of child molestation, which is what they presented it as. Maybe the whole sting operation thing was staged (by bad actors, might I add) since they had no time to get real footage, in their effort to match Oprah.

     
  • At 3:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'm not too sure if there is a genetic pre-disposition behind this perversion! I think that it is more a socialized disorder and a misguided attempt by pedophiles to compensate for their own emotional depravation of some kind. Be it lack of control, self esteem, etc.

    It is a socialized mentality amongst abusers who have themselves suffered abuse at one time. When someone is abused, an integral balance is disturbed which usually affects the relationship between mind and emotion. A great sense of core-loss, much deeper than just a physical loss is experienced and for many victims, if they don't get the therapy they need to understand and outgrow the situation, then they move on with sustained emotional-mental imbalances from the trauma.

    Now women victims, tend to re-habilitate better than male victims for two main reasons, social stigma and anatomical disposition. Socially, it is not acceptable for a man to admit vulnerability let alone submission which is usually the only way a victim can survive the brutality. Therefore less men seek therapy and then to compound matters, add the testosterone drive (which in a 'normal' man poses no unusual outlet), but in a man who is emotionally and mentally scarred by abuse will result in him seeking that wholeness/control in the way that he once experienced it taken from him, through oppression and with a submissive, i.e. Child. Power is arousing and testosterone doesn’t help the situation!

    Women who don’t receive therapy will usually self destruct in their behavior, drugs, promiscuous sex which they feel is a form of dominance over men and a way to gain their control back. They may become violent but rarely do they perpetrate sexual assault as a means to fill the void. Also, women could become anti-anything that is associated with their perpetrator e.g. they become frigid to any form of intimacy and often cannot sustain healthy relationships with the opposite sex. But all of this is socialized behavior, dysfunction passed on from one person to another, which is scary, because anyone could have that tendency if they experience sexual abuse themselves on some level. I don’t know if science can quick-fix this with a pill and I tend to agree with Desiderius that nurturing solid communities, families and individuals is the only real way to stop this mentality from being passed on. Education is the turning point though!

     
  • At 11:03 PM, Blogger ds said…

    Hey passer-by, thanks for putting me in my place on my own blog!
    Seriously, thanks for setting the record straight and I appreciate your insights.
    It's hard to believe that so many children are victimized and that many(not all)become abusers themselves. It's a terrible cycle.
    Is there a limited time frame for victims to receive treatment? I suppose once victim becomes abuser, they have passed a point of no return. Many of these people seem beyond hope.

     
  • At 10:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Thank you for raising such interesting discussion topics! 

    Time frame ... I think timing is everything when it comes to rehabilitation, but there isn't really one set frame for everyone. The urge for healing can call at any stage of a victim’s life I believe. However, there is a direct correlation between the time it takes a victim to acknowledge the need for help and how effective the treatment will be to their future outlook. There may be denial issues or shame issues which delay one from seeking help sooner. But the sooner the therapy, the better I say! Timing is really about self awareness and for some, it is an immediate thing while for others it takes a lifetime-plus to realize!

    As a rule of thumb – and God I hope none of our future children ever have to experience this abuse – as a parent, the same day you find out, put your child into therapy! Don’t wait, don’t chance the consequences, particularly if it is a male child.

    Once a person crosses the line and abuses … I think they are lost to the world and to themselves. They cannot be rehabilitated because the act itself sets aside any nature of compassion or remorse they were ever capable of. The psychology of the abuser is such that they usually plan ahead of time and at that planning stage they undergo (if at all) the the attack of conscience. During or once the act is complete, there is no remorse. Abusers will externally try to convince that they care for or love their victim and that the act was a reflection of that emotion, but they know it isn’t so, because a person that can manipulate with such clarity cannot possibly be so emotionally unaware! Abusers are selfish and cannot be trusted or reprogrammed I don’t believe! They were too victims yes, but they had a choice and a moment I believe to do the right thing be it to admit to the crime or even just to extend an apology to their victims years later, not that it would amount to anything much! They are never remorseful for the act!

    It is sad that so many children are victimized, in my home country in Zimbabwe, one in three children is sexually abused, can you believe it? But people don’t discuss it and it gets swept under the rug to save ‘face’, so there is no education and no end to the mindset you know! Anyways, good thing here we can talk about it in Canada eh! 

     

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