oh mother

My mom's the manager at a walk in medical clinic and she had some funny stories for me today. Apparently, many people have very little shame and just blurt out their problems in the waiting room so all other patients can hear and which my mom doesn't want to hear.
A 30 year old dude comes in and says "I'm impotent, do you think the doctor will give me Viagra?"
An old dude walks in, pulls out his false teeth, puts it my mom's face and asks "Can you fix this?" My mom had to run to the back to laugh and couldn't reemerge for 5 full minutes.
A 15 yr old girl walks in and asks for a morning after pill after gloating about how her boyfriend wasn't too careful the previous evening. She didn't have a healthcard on her because her mother keeps it so my mom had to call her home to ask for her healthcard number at a later time. Of course her mom was full of questions so my mom had to lie that she went in for a sore throat. Indeed!
2 gay dudes were in the waiting room and they began arguing for some reason. It went on for a while and my mom and the receptionist had to hide behind the counter to laugh. They continued to argue for a long while when all of a sudden there was a *smack* sound. My mom looked over and one of the dudes was holding his cheek. Unknown if he was punched or slapped. But then the yelling began and pretty soon my mom said there was no yelling allowed in here. "No one is talking to you!" the gay said. "But I am talking to you! And I'm telling you there is no yelling in here!"
I thought the funniest was this man who came in and complained of having "Square shaped feces. I think something is wrong"
Thanks mom