Elevator Antics

I don't get why 99% of people push their floor first and *Door Close* second. When I get on the elevator, I push *Door Close* first and figure I have enough time while the door is closing to push my floor. Once you're in front of the panel, it only takes about 1.5 seconds to push a button but more than twice that for the door to close once it's in motion. Ok, I'm only saving about that much time but I am saving time and doing it the other way just seems back-asswards to me.

Sometimes, when I'm going up and there are more people in the elevator, I don't even push my floor at all! Well, right away I don't. I know what you're thinking "He's crazy! Oh my god!" But wait a moment! You see, if I lived nearer to the Ground Level then I would need to get my floor pushed in time or else I may lose my chance. But since I live near the top, I know that I have plenty of time to push my floor while others are getting off on their respective floors below mine.

But some people will just make it in time into the elevator right before the door closes, reach over a dozen people to press their 18th floor and breathe a sigh of relief like Indiana Jones just making it out of a forbidden, booby-trapped tomb with some amazingly amazing crystal. I really wonder what's going through their heads that's so important that they must have an uninterrupted gaze at the floor indicator as it changes as the elevator goes up.

Today I got on the elevator to go down and I had a shopping cart with me. It stopped on the 7th floor and some punk loser walks in and straight towards the mirror(I'm sure to wonder why he's being punished for god making him so ugly. Zing!). He didn't even bother to check if 'G' was pushed(I wish I had been heading to B1 as he woulda received the shock of a lifetime when he tried to get off and discovered he wasn't where he wanted to be. That woulda been sweet). Anyway, he didn't check if 'G' was pushed much less push *Door Close*! If you don't push *Door Close* it takes a full 7 seconds for the door to close by itself! That's an eternity in elevator life! I couldn't reach over myself to push *Door Close* because I had my shopping cart in my way(and coincidentally, this menace stood beside me) and so I was barricaded in, unable to change the course of history. Otherwise, I woulda reached over, pushed the button and made a grumbling audible that woulda made him cry.

So when we finally reach our destination and the door is about to open, this punk wants to get in front of me! Suddenly, he's Mr Rush-Rush and needs to get off ASAP! When just 18 seconds earlier he had all day and didn't even think of pushing *Door Close*. Hell no! I was taken none of it and pushed my cart forward, blocking his path. He glanced at me but I didn't have a happy look on my face so that was that. I got out very casually and when I got out, I made sure that my cart pivoted in front of the door, blocking his path once again, thereby robbing him of a further 2.7 seconds. That'll learn 'em.